OUTLINE
0:00 Introduction to Money Anxiety
3:45 Difference Between Financial Stress and Anxiety
7:30 Signs of Financial Anxiety
12:15 Causes of Financial Anxiety
16:20 Impact on Daily Life
21:30 Managing Money Anxiety
25:45 Season 1 Wrap-up and Gratitude
THE ERIN DAVIS SHOW
Welcome to the Erin Davis show where we talk all things money, mindset and confidence. I know that being in control of your money means that you can step into the rest of your life with confidence, because everything starts with confidence. But I also know that women carry a huge, invisible mental load when it comes to their money. Being an accountant for over 30 years, I know all the ins and outs when it comes to money, and just how heavy that emotional load can be. So while I love talking about money, for me, it goes so much deeper. While I want you to explore your relationship with money, I also want to show you how embracing connection, expansion and abundance will make you feel more centered, inspired and aligned. So are you ready? Let's get started.
Christmas can be such a wonderful time of the year, though, for a lot of women, it can also be a time of significant worry and stress, particularly when it comes to money. There is so much pressure coming from all angles to purchase the perfect gifts, have the perfect lunch and everything in between. When you add money worries to an already stressful situation, it's not unreasonable to feel anxious about your money. A lot of us are already operating at capacity. So to add this extra layer of stress really doesn't make for a very festive season at all. In today's episode, I want to break down money anxiety, what it is and why it's different from financial stress, and I want to break it down so that you know what you're dealing with. Plus, I want to give you some very practical suggestions on how to manage it, because we know that when you are aware of what's happening, everything changes. So let's get started.
Money anxiety. What is it? Well, it is the constant fear and worry about your money, and it can significantly impact your daily life. It can leave you feeling very overwhelmed and powerless about your money, which is not something that is much fun at all. So it's characterized by this constant preoccupation with your financial worries and concerns. It's also about having a fear of not enough money regardless of what your current situation is, and it can really influence your daily decisions and spending habits. So financial anxiety is really different from financial stress, because financial stress often comes from financial difficulties. You know, financial anxiety is that persisting to the next level, even when your basic financial needs are met, and it can involve, you know, excessively worrying about your finances. Do I have enough in the bank? Can I pay my bills? Is that worry a next level worry, or is it just an everyday type of worry. I think we need to really remember that with anxiety, it's the next level. It's about, well, what is a what is it that a reasonable person would experience, and am I experiencing something above and beyond that? Now, my family has a lot of anxiety, and I understand that anxiety is very real, even though, from an outsider looking in, it doesn't look real. However, when you're in that situation, it feels totally real. And so when you are thinking about money, anxiety is what you are feeling, what an everyday person would feel, or is this something next level? And I know that when you're in amongst it, it is really hard to be able to determine what's a normal level of stress, and what is that next level of stress, though. I think with everything, if you are feeling like it is totally consuming, it is impacting your everyday life, which we will talk about later.
What do you know? What are those indicators of financial anxiety? But if you are in the next level of stress, then that is where you need to look at doing something about it. So it's also about,you know, you're having difficulties controlling what your worries are, and it's impacting on your everyday life. You know, can you afford to go out with friends? Do you buy groceries this week? How much do you spend on groceries? Maybe it is even decision paralysis, and we know as women that we can procrastinate pretty well when we put our minds to it. So what are some key signs of financial anxiety?
A big one is really that fixation on money and financial goals, and it is becoming obsessed about them. You can have a real reluctance to discuss money matters, or you can have financial or sleep disturbances because you're worrying so much. And I think that it's really about taking a look at, well, what is it that I am doing, and how am I behaving with my money? Maybe you are obsessed with savings or stockpiling your money because you are so worried about never having enough that you just have to save everything you have.
Maybe you're having negative impacts on relationships, and we know that financial arguments are huge. You know that they are the financial part of a relationship is a cause for huge financial arguments. And so I think if you are constantly arguing about money, have a look at is this causing you money stress, or is it money anxiety. Is it reasonable what you're arguing about? Are you that concerned that you need to do something about it, or is there something more that is happening and financial abuse is a real thing, and the women that I have been speaking to lately have really shared some very interesting things about financial abuse. You know, about having an allowance paid to them every week, even if they are earning more money in the relationship. You know, those types of things are a real concern, and it is why I am so passionate about women creating that financial independence. But talking about the financial anxiety which we are talking about today, it is maybe you're avoiding financial decisions. So some of the factors, like we've spoken about, that are signs of financial anxiety, are being fixated on your money or financial goals, your reluctance to discuss money matters. Maybe you've got financial worries which are causing sleep disturbances, your obsessively stockpiling or saving money. It's having a negative impact on your relationships, and you are avoiding financial decisions. You know those things are really clear signs that you are experiencing financial anxiety.
So what causes financial anxiety? And there are a lot of reasons, though, like we've spoken about on the podcast before, the history within your family about money definitely can contribute to your situation and your relationship with money, but it can also be maybe you've had a history of financial instability. Maybe you've had a job loss, or your income is not very consistent. You know that inconsistency leads to a lot of stress, and can lead to that financial anxiety, because you don't know where the money is coming and going. So therefore you stockpile what you have, you're afraid to spend. You're constantly worrying about it.
Maybe you are feeling the economic pressures, and maybe there's instability in the economy. You know, the cost of living, living at the moment, is astronomical. I spoke to a friend this morning, and she said, this time of year, groceries are like $500 and that's because we're buying extra things for Christmas lunch or we're buying extra things for Christmas presents. So at this time of the year, the financial stress and anxiety can be completely overwhelming, so it's important that you are aware of what's causing the financial stress and anxiety so that you can do something about it and help to alleviate that anxiety. Maybe you have pressure in the relationship or in the family, and you're responsible, and that responsibility can feel completely consuming and overwhelming, and if you are the breadwinner winner in your family, that financial responsibility can be a huge deterrent to actually making decisions. The feeling of responsibility means that you don't choose to do things, or maybe you do choose to do them, but you are constantly worrying about how that impacts your family, instead of worrying about whether I'm happy. Is this fulfilling? Am I doing my life's work, my purpose work? And having every decision come back to Money can lead to significant anxiety, and I've spoken about this before that my perception of success in the past has really been linked to my financial success and the bank account balance. And while that was very irrational to me, it was a very logical thing to do. And I think being in that accounting space, it's very black and white. The numbers don't lie, and for me, I had linked success to that balance. So it caused a huge amount of financial stress and anxiety, because all of my decisions were based on, well, can I afford it? Can we do this? Being responsible for our family put extra pressure on me, which then made decision making really, really hard.
We can also have a lack of financial education. And the whole purpose of this podcast is to increase the awareness of financial independence, create education, create a safe space where women can feel free of shame and judgment about their current situation, but also to help you to become aware of what it is that you can do to change things around so that lack of financial education can be a huge cause of financial and money anxiety. There are also societal pressures. You know, you may feel like I did, that you need to achieve a certain level within your career. Maybe that financial status, maybe it's a promotion. But all the time, it's focused on the money, and it's focused on what that money means, rather than what feels right, what feels aligned. Because, as we know that if we are doing things that are not feeling aligned and in flow, they are always going to feel hard and challenging and create the money anxiety, which is something that will keep you in a space of feeling like things are hard, instead of being in flow and enjoying life and without that form responsibility.
So how does money anxiety influence or impact your daily life? This is a really tricky one, because it's important to realize what is a normal behavior, because we want to be able to feel some pressure and some responsibility and some level of what's the word, some level of
pressure challenge, because we want to be able to better ourselves and do more. But there comes a point where there's too much, there's too much of that pressure and too much of that responsibility, and it can lead to those avoidance bank avoidance behaviors, like not checking your bank account or only opening your app on your phone when you're at the checkout just to make sure there's enough money in there. But you're not actually looking at what you're spending. You're not tracking where you are, where you're at. You don't know where you're spending your money. And that avoidance can become can come from the shame and the guilt and and you know that avoidance keeps us in that space of the cycle
which we don't want to stay in.
So it's really looking at how money anxiety is impacting your daily life? You know it can impact your daily decisions, like I spoke about before. When do you do your shopping? When do you do your social activities? Do I go out with friends? Do I not go with friends do I stay at home, which then puts me into a space of avoiding my friends because I can't afford to pay for, you know, the dinner that they have, or if they split the bill, then I can't pay for just a share of the whole bill I need to just pay for mine. You know, all of those pressures then put you in a distant relationship from your friends, and that isolation leads to more stress and worry and more anxiety.
It also puts a strain on other relationships, with your partner, with your friends, with your family. You can also have very physical health issues, including sleep problems, constant headaches. Maybe you have stomach aches. Maybe you're just feeling overall tired and exhausted. And we know that that load, that the mental load and pressure that comes with not understanding your money, can really lead to eroding that sense of well being, and the feelings of hopelessness and despair come in, which then are also linked to depression, so it is a very real thing about money anxiety, and I don't want you to just dismiss it and discount it as if odd, something that everybody feels or it's it's okay. It doesn't really matter, because it does matter, and it is important that you begin to realize what it is that you're actually thinking and feeling and how you're behaving with your money.
All of these episodes with podcasts are all about educating and sharing my experience from both an accountant's perspective, but also from a woman who has really felt the pressure of money anxiety, I think, as I've spoken about many times before, being the accountant, I have felt like I need to be more in control of my money. I need to be further ahead. I need to be more financial. However, with that comes a huge level of responsibility, and it comes with that feeling of not enoughness. And I think when you can start to separate your self worth from your bank account balance, and start to really break down what it is that you have taken some very clear action steps to improve your situation and take back your power. It changes everything and the money mindset piece that goes with managing your money is the most important thing, creating a budget, managing your money is very linear. It's very straightforward. It's quite easy to do.
However, it is the mindset and those restrictions we put on ourselves, the lack of self control, the lack of commitment, or the lack of self belief that we have within ourselves that we can actually do something different is what influences and ultimately determines our behavior.
So what do you need to do to help manage your money anxiety? The first step would be to talk to somebody, seek some help, you know, put yourself in a position where you can improve your financial understanding, start making small, manageable changes, which put you in a position where you can start to really understand your current financial situation. It's about assessing the level of debt you have. Maybe you need to see a financial planner, or maybe you need to revisit the money coming in and the money going out. Maybe you need a money tracker. Maybe you need to look at where you're spending your money, and then maybe you need to have a look at how you allocate your money, which is effectively a budget. But as I've said before, budgets don't work for everybody. It's about coming up with a system and a solution that is personal to you, because we know that if you are not invested emotionally and committed to what it is that you want, then it's really hard, and then we feel like we're a failure because we haven't done it or we can't stick to it. So the work that I do is really about finding that individualized plan and helping you and holding you accountable to create these small habits, creating the small changes that I know are going to help reduce that financial anxiety.
So as Christmas and this festive season is happening right now, I want you to be kind to yourself, and I want you to take notice of how you're feeling about your money. There is a lot of pressure at the moment. It feels very commercialized. It feels like a big rush. But I also see that a lot of people are starting to slow down. They are recognizing that they are operating at capacity, and that they know that this is not sustainable. And so I would challenge you to include in there the not sustainable part also includes not being in control of your money. You absolutely need to be in control of your money to reduce your money anxiety. So just to recap, what those things are is what money anxiety looks like. It's really about avoiding bank account balances, avoiding decisions. It's about maybe constant money on the brain, worrying about things all the time, avoiding financial decisions. It's how the relationship is like money a topic that is always something that leads to an argument. Maybe you've had job loss or prior financial instant instability, which causes you to feel that anxiousness. Maybe it is just that you don't understand, and that's okay, but just remember, you have the ability to choose, to decide whether this continues as it is, or to do something different. And so I hope that you have found this helpful. This money anxiety is a real thing. Don't feel like it should be dismissed. I want you to acknowledge that it exists, and then I want you to think about what I can do to help resolve it?
And finally, I just want to say that I am so excited to have launched this podcast. This episode is the final episode for season one. I am going to take a break for a couple of weeks over the festive season. I, too, need some time out. I've been operating at capacity this whole year, and I need to take some time out. And it's okay to take some time out. I need to recharge. I want to spend some time with my kids and my husband. And I have got some big goals and dreams for next year, and I've put those in motion this year, but for the moment, I just wanted to say, thank you. I am very, very grateful for those that have had me in their ears listening to these episodes. I am very grateful to the guests that I have had on the podcast. I have got some beautiful guests lined up for next year, and money independence. Being in control of your money means that you can really step into the rest of your life with confidence. And I know that confidence looks different for everybody, but it means being able to sleep better. It means being able to smile more. It means being able to do things that make you happy without worrying. It means that you're able to spend the money on things that make you feel good without constantly checking your bank account, because you know you've got a plan, you've you know you've allocated it, and the money is already spent, so you can spend it guilt free. And so I really am very grateful, as I said, that you have been here with me, and I look forward to seeing you in the new year.
Thanks for tuning in today. I really hope you enjoyed the show. If you did head over and subscribe and also leave me a review while you're there, I would love to read it. Don't forget to share this episode with your audience and tag me on Instagram at Erin Davis. Underscore transform. If you need any more info from today's show, head over to www.erindavis.com.au/podcast where you'll find all of today's show notes and links. See you next week on the Erin Davis show.
