OUTLINE
0:00:00 Introduction to the Erin Davis show and the topic of money, mindset, and confidence
0:00:57 Erin shares observations from conversations and experiences this week related to money behaviors and beliefs
0:02:11 Erin describes a friend's contrasting reactions to purchasing a $60 water bottle vs. shopping for clothes
0:04:06 Erin explains how our beliefs are supported by the evidence we see, and how this applies to money relationships
0:05:35 Erin discusses the emotions and beliefs around dipping into savings accounts
0:07:09 Erin emphasizes that being good with money is not just about following a process, but repairing the relationship with money
0:10:00 Erin encourages listeners to examine the drivers and underlying factors behind their spending and saving behaviors
0:12:50 Erin provides suggestions for reshaping beliefs and establishing new money behaviors
0:15:38 Erin reiterates the importance of addressing the emotions and psychology behind money, not just the numbers
0:19:35 Outro and call to action for listeners
THE ERIN DAVIS SHOW
Welcome to the Erin Davis show where we talk all things money, mindset and confidence. I know that being in control of your money means that you can step into the rest of your life with confidence, because everything starts with confidence. But I also know that women carry a huge, invisible mental load when it comes to their money. Being an accountant for over 30 years, I know all the ins and outs when it comes to money, and just how heavy that emotional load can be. So while I love talking about money, for me, it goes so much deeper. While I want you to explore your relationship with money, I also want to show you how embracing connection, expansion and abundance will make you feel more centred, inspired and aligned. So are you ready? Let's get started.
This week, I've had lots of conversations and actually witnessed a lot of money behaviours and beliefs, which really surprised me, so I thought I would share them on the podcast today, because I think the more we delve into the money behaviours and the way we feel about money and how that interaction with Money makes us feel, the more we can learn, and the more we learn, the more aware we become, so therefore, we are able to change our behaviours. Now, these conversations, or the things that I witnessed this week, were super, super interesting, shopping with friends and a friend wanted a new drink bottle, so she just went into a store and purchased it. Now, this was a $60 drink bottle. And for me, I would go, Oh, wow, that's super expensive. I don't need a bottle that is that expensive. But for her, she was beyond excited. She was pretty much jumping out of her skin, so excited to hand over her money. Didn't even look at the price and just handed it over, the joy and excitement that she felt. I could see it. It was clearly evident how much this purchase had meant to her. We then continued shopping, and I needed some clothes. It's been a while since I'd bought anything, jeans, T shirts, shorts, that type of thing.
So I needed some clothes, and she did too. So we both walked around, had a bit of a look, and didn't really find anything that we liked. But then we did find some things, and we tried them on, but her reaction to these clothes was very, very different, and it was a very different experience to what the drink bottle purchase was not so long ago. And so she was looking at the price, she was feeling the fabric. She was questioning in her head, is this something that I really want, or is it, you know, I know I need to, but I don't really want to. And the decision to actually purchase was really, really hard.
What I noticed is that the emotion she attached to that purchase was a lot of coming back to how she felt about herself. She didn't want to buy these clothes because they felt different. They've got a different texture. She didn't like the way she looked in them, and then felt like she couldn't find anything that she suited or that she wanted. So the experience turned to a very negative experience, and it actually highlighted to me just how our relationship with money really plays out.
We can be shown everything that we believe through evidence which supports that belief and makes it stronger. I know you've heard the story of if you want to go and buy a blue car, all of a sudden you see blue cars absolutely everywhere. Our beliefs are supported by the evidence that we see to make that belief true. And so that is the same with money, and this positive relationship she has with her money was impacted through shopping for clothes, and it really was interesting.
So it came down to her not believing that she was good enough to wear these things that didn't look good. It was too expensive, because paying $60 for a pair of shorts was just outrageous. Yet half an hour earlier, she had spent $60 on a drink bottle without a question, like there was no question whatsoever and no hesitation. So this positive relationship that she had with money to start with was really good, and then it shifted very, very quickly.
Another thing that she had was she didn't want to part with this money, because that would then eat into her savings. And, you know, we have a savings account there for a reason. However, we feel a lot of shame and guilt when we have to dip into that savings. But the whole point of having the savings was for her to buy clothes.
So it's about our emotions and beliefs and our behaviours that we attach to things that really drive the outcome and the way that we feel. And you know if if being good with money was just as simple as preparing a budget, then we would all stick to it, and we would all be so good with money. But it is not that simple.
Managing your money and being good with money all comes down to how we feel about money, that relationship we have with money, and that relationship of how worthy we feel within ourselves? Because it is all connected, and how deserving are we? So I know with a savings plan, it is really easy to put money aside and then all of a sudden, you maybe have an unexpected bill pop up, or you skip some savings this week, and then you just go, Oh, bugger it. I'll just start again next week. Oh, or bugger it. I can't do it, so I just won't bother doing it anymore. I'm no good with money. I can't do it. I'm a failure. I can't save anyway. So what's the point? Or I'm just going to spend it again. What's the point? And so we build these things up within ourselves to influence or self sabotage our behaviour. And I think that we also come up with this thing that, you know, we save our money and we say it's there for a rainy day, or we say it's there for a specific purpose. However, then we feel really guilty when we have to actually use that money for a rainy day or to buy something that we need that we've been saving up for. And so I just find that so interesting that, yeah, that we have these thoughts and being good with money is not just about following the process and doing the things that you need to do. There is a way to go so much deeper with that and to become financially independent. It is actually really about repairing that relationship that you have with money. Because when you have that relationship with money, that is good and it makes you feel good, and you see the winds and you see the movement forward, you are able to be kind to yourself. You are able to feel deserving and worthy of the money, and you don't have that attachment of your self worth to your bank account balance. And now it doesn't mean that you have to have millions and millions of dollars and be super, super rich and wealthy to be good with money. You can have a minimal wage and still be good with money. It's all about how you feel about money and how that relationship plays out.
So a few things that I noticed and that I really want you to take notice of when you are talking with other people, or you are listening to the things that you say in your head, maybe you reflect afterwards. Have a think about the last thing that you bought and or that somebody else bought, and what was the driver behind that purchase? You know, did you purchase it because it was a spur of the moment thing. You just needed it, and so you just did it, but then afterwards you felt the guilt and the shame for spending the money, or was it a super planned out purchase that you had been saving for for a while. You felt comfortable because you had the money there, and then you're able to spend it without any guilt or without any shame. And you know, we can have the same amount of money being spent in two different transactions like the drink bottle and the shorts. However, the emotion attached to those two purchases are totally different.
The value was exactly the same, but the driver within us is totally different, and I think to be able to be good with money, we need need to look at really what those drivers are and what the underlying things are that influence that behaviour, because our money stories that we attach to everything really do influence and impact our spending and saving behaviour.
It doesn't matter whether you have money or you don't have money, you spend it or you save it, you keep it, or you lose it. Our relationship with money is dependent on those beliefs, those emotions and those behaviours which provide the evidence through our actions, and so we can keep finding supporting behaviours and supporting information out there to encourage those beliefs that we have. So if you have a belief that you are never good with money, or you can't save or what's the point? Because I'm just going to spend it anyway. You are going to keep self sabotaging until it just becomes normal it becomes your comfort zone. And so we can have a financial comfort zone, which is one of distress or one of struggle, and that really is our comfort zone, and so we will do anything that we can subconsciously to sabotage that. You know, we may build up a little bit of savings, but then we're like, oh, I just need to spend this, or I just need to do this. And then we come into that cycle of, Ah, shit, I've just spent my savings, so therefore there's shame around it, there's guilt. There is that avoidance, and then we stay in that cycle of never being able to save and thinking that we aren't good with money.
So a couple of things that you can do to be able to move through this and start to rewire these beliefs, because every belief somebody has, there is somebody on the planet that has the exact opposite belief, and they believe it to be their truth, 100% their truth. So just because you have a belief, it doesn't mean that it has to be your 100% truth. Going forward, you do have the choice to be able to change it, but it is not as simple as just flick a switch and go, Yep, it's all changed. I'm good now. We actually need to put in place the behaviours that support this new belief and retrain our brains to show us that we are capable of this new behaviour. So the new belief coupled with the new behaviour becomes the new cycle, and it becomes the new normal.
So what I want you to do is, first of all, think about the purchase, the last purchase that you've made, or become aware of purchases that other people have made, and the way they speak about it, what drove them to make that purchase? How are they feeling? Well, how are you feeling and why did you go through with that purchase? Because awareness is really the key. The next point is then about thinking about how we can reshape that, how can we reframe that saying or that belief that we have? Maybe it is that I am working towards learning how to save, or I am becoming good with money. Maybe it is every little bit I save brings me closer to the goal that I want. Whatever that goal is, and I think it's it's about connecting into those bigger pitches and the bigger goals that we need. So once you have that, then it is taking the action to move you closer to that new behaviour. So if it is an automatic savings plan that you have set up. Think about how much can you save without putting pressure on your other expenses or your other lifestyle or the other things that you need to pay for? What is it that you can put away and leave it and not have to dip into the savings? And I think when you connect that savings into a bigger goal, or the the purchase into a bigger goal, as in, how is it going to make me feel? How is it going to improve my life? Is it just an instant gratification thing, or is it something that is going to bring me joy for the long term? You know, we have take away all the time, maybe it's Uber Eats or fast food, and I know for me, when I go and get KFC or McDonald's, whatever it is, I have all of these high expectations of this is going to taste delicious, and I can't wait. And I get it, and I look at it, and I. Think what the hell is that? Surely that is not food, and it is does not taste good at all. So therefore I feel like it is a waste of money. Why did I even bother? I knew it was going to not taste very good, and I know that it is. I'm just going to be hungry later.
So it's about thinking about, is this an instant gratification thing, or is it something that is going to bring me closer and closer to my goals? And I think when we start to become closer to that relationship of how we feel about money and whether we're deserving or not deserving, it really then impacts the way that we step up and we the way that we show up in future. So I know this, this stuff can be a little airy fairy and a bit wishy washy, but I really think the underlying behaviours and emotions that we attach to money, and the way we feel about it really impact the way that we show up with money. And if you want things to be different, if you want to become good with money and you want to have a savings plan, or you want to be able to buy something and not feel guilt, or you want to be able to go and do things or experience things and not feel guilty, then we really need to go just beyond the numbers and look deeper into that money behaviour and the money psychology that we have. And while I am not a money psychologist at all. I am just an accountant with over 30 years experience working with money and people and noticing their behaviours. I can see how some people are good with money and some people aren't. And I know for me, the more I do this work, the more I become aware, the more I release those old money behaviours or the money mistakes that I have made, the better I feel within myself about money, and I don't attach everything To money like I used to, and so you don't need to have millions of dollars, like I said, to be good with money. It is about how you feel about money. It is about recognizing those behaviours, and, like my friend, purchasing the drink bottle compared to the pair of shorts in the moment, she didn't notice what she was saying at all. Me as the observer, I could see it, and I could see how that different thought process was playing out.
And when we talked about it later, it was really interesting, even the conversations that still came up as to the value where she should spend her money, where she shouldn't spend her money she didn't want to dip into her savings, even though she'd specifically saved up for clothes. And yeah, as I said, it's just really, really interesting this conversation. So I would love to know if you have experienced anything similar to this. Do you notice when you are holding on to your money and not spending because there is this shame or guilt or avoidance feeling there, or on the flip side, when you just go and spend and and, and have that joy and the excitement and the just going forward with it without any question. How does that make you feel?
So I'd be really curious to know and, and I just want you to be aware of how you're feeling when you're spending money, because that is really, really such a cool indicator of where you are right now. And as always, if you need some help with this work, I love delving into the beliefs and the stories behind how we spend our money and why we spend our money. So if this is something that you want to look into, then reach out, send me a DM and connect with me on socials, because it is really such a crucial part of becoming good with money and feeling financially confident.
Thanks for tuning in today. I really hope you enjoyed the show. If you did, head over and subscribe and also leave me a review while you're there. I would love to read it. Don't forget to share this episode with your audience and tag me on Instagram at Erin Davis. Underscore, transform. If you need any more info from today's show, head over to Erin davis.com.au, forward slash podcast, where you'll find all. Today's show notes and links. See you next week on the Erin Davis show you.
