OUTLINE
0:00 - 0:48: Introduction to the importance of confidence and money mindset for women
0:48 - 6:43: Erin shares her personal challenges this week, including being triggered by a training and receiving tough feedback
6:43 - 13:38: Erin reflects on her patterns and beliefs, the power of changing limiting stories, and the need for vulnerability and change
13:38 - 19:00: Erin commits to personal growth, owning her role, and continuing to work on herself
19:00 - 24:00: Erin encourages listeners to reflect on their own areas of discomfort and offers support
THE ERIN DAVIS SHOW
This week has been quite a challenging week for me in my business. And I thought I would share on the podcast this week, just how that has played out and why it's happened. Because I think it's really important to be transparent and authentic in the message that I'm sharing. And so this week, I have been listening to quite a few trainings from different people, because I am this sponge of wanting to learn and grow and improve and do things and create success in my business and in my world. This week, I was watching a training session, and it really triggered me for some reason. And I'm not quite sure why. However, it has been quite confronting to take a look into what it is that I'm thinking and feeling. And I feel really exposed because those things that I have been covering up, I suppose, are now coming to the surface, and they're perky. They've been percolating for a while, but they're coming to the surface now. And I think that, as business women, we tend to just keep pushing on and keep going and keep going and keep going. However, at times, we're triggered by things. Now, that may be something that somebody says, or maybe we are worried about what other people think of us, or we're struggling to really move forward in our business or make a decision, because we're worried about what the outcome is going to be. And so for me this week, it has been, as I said, quite uncomfortable and quite confronting. And I think there's a process and a journey that we all go on of that self acceptance, that you know, until you're ready to hear something and own something, it's very easy to push the blame or push the push those feelings out to others, instead of turning them around and looking at what's actually going on within us and how we're contributing to the situation. And so that can be really uncomfortable. And you know, we tend to stay in that comfort zone. And it is much much easier to project outwards and project the blame of everything that's happened to us or around us on others or situations.
However, it is quite scary when you turn that around and look at well what is it that I've done? Or what have I contributed to this situation to make it easy, make it what it is. And so that's sort of what's happened to me this week. But keeping it real, I wanted to share that because I don't want to come from a place of preaching and not practising what I preach effectively because it's really important to own what it is that we're thinking and feeling. And if it's not serving us take the ownership and put a big girl pants on and do something about it. And so this week, I reached out and got some very tough love, which in itself was very hard to read and hard to to take. However there comes a point where you need to either accept what is happening or you keep going on the same path but still continue to feel frustrated and angry and annoyed and disappointed with everything around you. Rather than looking at what it is that we're thinking and feeling. And so those thoughts that I have been having about this situation have been percolating for a very long time, probably like four or five years that I've been aware of.
However, that's the thing, right? That most of these things are coming from unprocessed trauma and emotion. And our negative beliefs are usually unconscious, and we don't, we don't actually become aware of them until we start to slow down and stop, and then take some notice. So these are really, we tend to fix the symptoms only. But we're not fixing that underlying problem or the underlying belief that we have, that is really stopping us from progressing and showing up the way that we want to show up. And so that's why I find that a lot of women are stuck in that space of their unresolved trauma and the unprocessed emotion that they have. And those negative beliefs keep coming up. And as I said, it's easy to project those outwards and blame everybody else for what it is that you're feeling or why things haven't happened in a way that you want them to happen. However, there comes a time where you have to own it. And so this week, I was called out on it, which is what I needed. And it's taken me a while to get to this place. As I said, it's been percolating for quite some time.I don't think I was ready to own it before.
But I know that the comfort of staying in my comfort zone, that safe place is feeling very uncomfortable at the moment, the comfortable place that I'm in, is not feeling comfortable anymore, it's got to the point where that discomfort is feeling very, very uncomfortable. And it's causing me to feel like I want change, and I want things to be different. And that's the thing with change unless you're prepared to step out, and look at what the possibilities are on the other side and be open to those changes in habits and patterns that you've been doing. For such a long time. You know, they're deeply embedded in our subconscious, that most of these patterns and habits run unconsciously. But they're, they are who we are. And they have been for such a long time. So to be able to change them and come out the other side with a different perspective. And a different way of thinking is quite scary. And it can be, it can be scary to be so vulnerable and open yourself up because you don't know what's on the other side. And that unknown can be what stops us from taking the action and having what it is that we really want.
So change doesn't come unless we're open to accepting that things are going to be different. And to be different, you need to be vulnerable, and you need to open yourself up. And so that's what I have had to do this week. And I still have a long way to go. And I still need to own a whole lot more stuff. However, I've been reflecting on it over the last couple of days. I can see where things have changed or where I have changed and where I've stepped up. And then also where I've stepped back and stepped into that place that I don't want to be. And I'm not the person who I want to be. And I think that's probably the hardest thing because for me, I have always been a people pleaser. I've been the one that wants to make sure everybody's okay, and that I'm doing the right thing by everybody. I don't like confrontation. And I don't want to be mean to anybody. I never have that intention of setting out to hurt other people.
However, in my own defensiveness, I suppose. I have really done those things to other people. They've been unconscious and they have been unintentional. Nonetheless, they've still happened and I've still done them. And that makes me feel awful because I don't do anything in an attempt to hurt somebody else. But I think when we get so caught up in our own perceptions of reality, and our own beliefs, we can't see what's happening elsewhere, we can't see how we're projecting to the world. What we believe to be the truth is, what we do and how we behave. However, that truth may not be. That may not be serving you to the highest good. And I think this week, I have really started to listen to my language, and listen to what it is that I am saying to myself, but also the language that I'm using when I'm talking about the circumstances and the situations that have led to where I am now. Listening to that language, and how I see the world is really an insight into those beliefs that I have.
Change can happen. It's important to recognize that that change is absolutely possible. But for it to be possible, you have to become unstuck. And I was listening to a training this weekend, one of the ladies was talking about, you know, being stuck is only just a point in time. It's something that we create, and it's our reality, because what is even struggling, or what is being stuck. It's really just that point in time because of our own stories. And it's like, we've decided that we are going to have that story, and it's going to be our truth. And if you're constantly telling yourself that story, that story, and the emotion that you feel with it is going to get stronger and stronger. That's why it's important to not be continuously telling yourself the same story over and over again, if you want change to happen. It's all well and good to have, you know, a whinge in a debrief with your bestie. But the more you tell that story, the more ingrained it becomes in you because of the emotion that's attached to it. And I have forgotten that. I have been telling myself this same story for quite some time. The emotion that I feel that's attached to that story is quite strong.
So this week, I have needed to take a step back and actually listen to my own advice. Which, when you're in the moment, and you're in it, it's very hard to see it because we can't analyse ourselves, we can't, we can't see how we are projecting ourselves to the world. That's why I love the work that I do, because I am able to hold that space for clients and other women around me to call them out on it. But I'm also allowing myself to be caught out by others as well. And I think that's the beauty of putting yourself in, in a space where you have that community that is able to really hold you accountable and call you to that higher ground. Because it's easy to get stuck in that constant space of uncomfortableness and discomfort.
But, stay there and not do anything about it. Then continue to whinge about it and continue to feel like nothing has changed. And so this week, I really needed to eat some humble pie. And I have to accept my role in what I have. What I have contributed to this situation. And that's by continuously telling the story and not owning it, and then not choosing to do something about it. Because of that, I am still in the same position that I am with this scenario that I have been for the last few years. I just wanted to share that today because I think it's important that we realise as women that people may be projecting out that everything is great, and everything is ticking along as it needs to and the world is chugging along. They're highly successful. They're making lots of money. But on the inside, there's really a lot I have other stuff going on.
I think it's just a reality check, probably more for me rather than you. But I hope you get some value out of this as well, that maybe it's time to stop and look, and just really become aware of what it is that those stories are that you're telling yourself, because those stories are what's keeping you where you're where you are. Now, we all have the power to change, some changes harder than others, some changes quicker than others change. But we all have the power to change. It's just how much do we want it? And how much are we willing to forego the comfort of the uncomfortable feeling that we're feeling now? Because it is uncomfortable, and it's making us feel desperate, discontent, and not energised, and exhausted, which is what I was feeling or am feeling. And instead, we can push ourselves to own what it is that we're feeling. And then look for the possibilities on the other side once those thoughts and beliefs and our perception of reality is changed.
So I just wanted to share that I think it's an important message that we all need to take notice of. And it has definitely been an important message for me this week. And that's why I thought I share it because it's um, it's important to share all of the ups and downs. And while from the outside, I look like everything is happening. Great. And for the most part it is that everything is progressing. I'm creating what it is that I want. I am connecting, I am happy. I am looking forward to what's coming. However, there's these things that are niggling, which have been niggling for quite some time, which are now at the top of the cup, they're the ones that are the focus at the moment.
I can see from this week, now that I am aware of it, just how much that they have been contributing to the directions and the movements and the choices that I make. And so this week, I am going to, I'm going to really own it, I'm going to eat that humble pie, as I said, I am going to check in with myself and the belief structures that I have, and then I'm going to reach out and ask for help. Because it's okay to ask for help. And it's okay to call on that community of support that you have around you. That is going to call you up to that higher ground, I'm going to set my intentions, I am going to check in with what my reality is. And also check in with what reality I want to be in the future. Because the future is up to me, the choice is up to me as to how I react to that tough love that I received, you know, I can either
get cranky and jump up and down and chuck a tantrum, or I can sit with it feeling very uncomfortable and feel very vulnerable and very exposed. And then I can own it, and then I can do something about it. And so I am choosing to do something about it, because I don't like the uncomfortable feeling that it has created. And that feeling of not enoughness in this aspect.
I don't feel like I am not enough within myself because I know I have resolved those issues quite some time ago because I never felt enough. I never felt like anything I did was enough. And that's the people pleaser me that wanted to do everything right for everybody else. And I still do. However, I now believe that I am enough. And I don't have to. I don't need other people's validation of my enoughness. I know that it's there. And I know that it's enough for me to see my own worth and know that I have something of value to offer. But that doesn't mean that I can't own this other stuff and I can't own how it is that I'm feeling and I think that happens as we level up in all different aspects of our life, it's, you know, it's easy to blame other people and sit on your high horse and just say that everybody else is doing something or they're doing things that you don't like. But quite often, it's a mirror of those things that you're not liking in yourself that are now being exposed. And that's what I found this week, it's definitely that mirror. It's not. It's not about anybody or any one in particular, however, it's, I can see those things in myself, which I don't like. And it's pretty hard to say, but it's something that I need to work on. And I think that that's what that's, that's the work that I do. And that's what I want to help other women do.
So in order to do that, I need to practise what I preach. And I need to do that for myself, because there's always the next level, and there's always a next step up. And as women in business. And, you know, even just women in general, we owe it to ourselves to own whatever it is that is making us feel uncomfortable, and resolve it and push through it and transform it and transform ourselves. So then we can show up as our best self and feel happy and energized and walk taller and smile more and just have that glow about us that, you know, you can't hide when things are going well. And when you feel good. And that's the feeling that I want. And while I have it in a lot of aspects of my life, there are other parts that are not there. And they're the parts that I want to work on. And it's okay to have all these different things happening at different times. Yeah, yeah, it's important that we constantly check in and we focus on the areas that need the attention. And this is the area that needs attention for me at the moment. And I thought that maybe it was also an area that other people needed attention, or needed to give attention to as well.
So if this episode resonates with you, and there is something in your space in your world that you can reflect on and see how you are contributing to it, even if you can't see it, because you know, self can't analyse self. But if there is something that you feel is eating away at you or is not right or is not happening as you want it to, then reach out, send me a DM, connect on Instagram www.erindavis_transform or just just reach out because we don't have to stay in this space if we don't want to. And the first step is owning it. And so this week, I have owned it. And now I need to work through it. And I am prepared to do that. Because I know on the other side that the possibilities are endless, and I can't wait to see what those possibilities are.
